i'm a feilou

2012-02-26T16:27:00.002+08:00

Army is taking so much time away from my time such that i can't meet up with people as often to talk to them anymore, and everyone's so busy, so i guess that explains why i'm saying more things here than ever. Making it a point to go for church every week and going for choir as well. Sometimes i really feel super tired but i know if i don't go, i'll regret it. Its time for me to go eat and leave for pasir ris. Sucky feeling. Ergh.

Time will be the remedy. I hope.

2012-02-26T15:20:00.002+08:00

Choir just ended. Time to go back home and prepare for book in once again. Always will be a sian feeling when i gotta book in. This week will be over very fast though, hopefully. IPPT on thursday though, let me get at least a silver so i dont have to go back for rt! Need to get some stuff during the next book out as well also. Oh and btw, i got new nicknames in army =.= both with the initials DB. Diarrhoea boy and dreamy boy. So lame right! Diarrhoea boy because i was the first person to get diarrhoea in my company. With an epic 28visits to the toilet in a single day. As for dreamy boy, its just lame. I got sleepy eyes and 4 sergeants said i was sleeping when i was wide awake! Retarded. I really got sleepy eyes! Haha this week got live range and hopefully everything ends fast, cos there's night firing as well. Also, Alevel results are out this week. I know i'll do badly, question is, how badly? I know i'll need to collect my results with a thankful heart but there's a trace of regret in my heart as well. Once again, i blame myself for not working hard enough. I just seek for His forgiveness and that He will tide me through this week.

2012-02-25T21:45:00.003+08:00

:D so i'm back and blogging now. RT was fun i guess. Although there wasn't free time so we didn't get to practise for company games. Nonetheless, it was good cos i booked out earlier :D I don't know if i have said this here already but tekong is actually a good place to be in. The thing that i hate is the regimentation and 'discipline' issues. Shouldn't be talking too much about army here but pardon me, Please allow me to rant. Just abit.

This week was tough. Very tough. It was totally different from the life that i used to have in my daily life. In a way, i was experiencing things i've never experienced, but thing is, i don't like it. Yeah yeah, i have no choice so i just have to tahan through all these. At the end of the day, what do i get from all these things that i have to undergo? Will i really be more disciplined? Will i really want to serve the nation? Am i thirsty for a fight? Honestly, i don't know. Then again, i don't ever wanna be in a war. i will most probably shoot myself dead first before witnessing all the horror and trauma a war abundantly provides.

Then comes the things about growing up. Will i be able to grow up for real this time? In thinking and in actions. I'm really afraid that i might change too much that i'll lose the idea that i have of myself. What will i really learn in army that i can take away with me so that it stays forever, something that i can use to glorify God and not myself. Field camp is coming up really soon. After this week will be field camp already. It really is something i don't want to go through, but i know i have to. 6 Days, is all it'll take from me. Kinda afraid, kinda want it to be over and done with. Argh, it's the same as throwing a grenade. I'll just have to rely on Him to lead me through these six days.

Upcoming is using a SAR21, kinda afraid as well, but as long as i don't do anything stupid it's gonna be fine. Actually i kinda like the live firing stuff. hmm. Cos usually when you're waiting for your turn, you get to slack. It has been a good wait for my grenade, really. I got to talk to this guy from platoon 1, called ethan, if that's how u spell his name. He was reading the Bible as well when we were waiting for our turn. He's anglican though, so its different from FCF. Got the chance to talk to him about speaking in tongues, christmas, and good friday those kinda stuff. Shared alot with him and i really thank God for that. The talk with him really gave me a sense of comfort before going into the throwing bay. Thinking that our God is really in control of everything, i was less scared. My heart didn't beat as fast as i thought it would. It could've been faster haha.

I gotta say i really thank God for this week, although it has been the most tiring week so far, there were many things that i've learnt. There's just one thing left that i gotta learn, learning how to let go. It's a part of growing up as well i guess. We'll see how it goes. Sometimes i really feel that there are some things better left unsaid. And straight after that, i'll regret.

Oh well, gotta go sleep soon, there's church tomorrow and i'm thinking of going church early to do some proper QT which i haven't been doing for the past few days. Dear God, i really thank You for guiding me through this week, it has been tough but i have felt your presence with me throughout my daily life. This is a time when i really rely on God everyday, every moment, please help me not to forget this need for You. Please.

2012-02-25T19:08:00.000+08:00

Sunday morning. Woke up at 7. Took my own sweet time and left for church at 8.05. I realised i could do with alot less sleep now, but then maybe i can't last too long like that. So i wanted to talk about the night sky i saw yesterday. It had a really weird vibe to it because of the gradient of the colour across the sky. One end was white and the other dark blue. It was really pretty. Almost as if you could see all the shades of blue all at once. Somehow it gave me the feeling that one side was day and one side was night. Getting caught in between two different worlds, given a choice, which side will you go to? I think i'll choose the night, only because this is Singapore. Everything is slower paced as compared to the day.

Anyway i played DotA with my platoonmates ytd. Played on opposite teams and it was really fun! I hope there'll be more chances to play like this. Maybe got nights out next time den go lan outing or smth wahahahaha.

Church will be a little different today. Used to seeing zixin and wx sitting at the table talking but today both of them are not there already. Gonna be slightly different, but things can't always be the same. Abit sad ah, wx faster come out from confinement please! By then i would have finished my field camp YEAH! Then i would be looking forward to going back because it will physical training instead of combat training. And of course FRISBEE!i'm in it only to win it. Just wait and see. Okay reached outram already. Maybe i'l blog again before i book in later. CYA!

2012-02-25T19:07:00.001+08:00

I just said thank you to an atm machine. WHAT?!

2012-02-24T19:01:00.003+08:00

Many things i wanna blog about this week. Many things i've experienced, felt and thought about. Learnt alot of things along the way. Will blog about it tomorrow though. Need to go back in now for RT. Sian diao. Wx is in the coy RIGHT BESIDE ME! YEAHHHHHH! okay blog tomorrow, BYE!

2012-02-19T16:33:00.002+08:00

2more hours and i need to be at pasir ris interchange. Even though i said i won't be feeling emo or whatever, i'm starting to feel it. Abit. Maybe it isn't about booking in that i'm feeling sad about though. I think you know what i'm sad about, alot of people know i guess. Question is, am i sad for the correct reasons or not?

Won't be seeing you for quite awhile, its not gonna be easy, again. My mum told me not to think about this too much. Its just gonna be a grave that i'm digging myself and it'll definitely be hard to climb back up.

Its gonna be just 5 days this time round, and i'll get to bookout. That is, if i don't do anything stupid. There's alot of things left that i want to do, that's alot of things i need to do, there are some things that i don't know if i should do. I know i'm weak, so Lord, please help me.

2012-02-19T01:52:00.003+08:00

God-centered relationship. I've given quite some thought about it, i used to think that relationships are means to learn how to love. I still think that way. But in a certain way there's more to it than that. A relationship with anyone is somewhere that a person is able to learn how to love. Maybe i'm starting to understand this, maybe i'm starting to learn how to love like finally, but it just got me thinking that i'm still a boy. A small little boy.

2012-02-18T23:57:00.003+08:00

Back from a long day! Had breakfast with dad and sis in the morn, flicked after that, went for YF! Had dinner with a few brothers, followed by a chatting session. I really am enjoying myself thoroughly during this bookout. Everything can be done at your own pace, no time limit to do certain things, can take our time to walk from point to point, no time limit for food, there's just so many things that i always take for granted. Now, everything seems like a luxury to me. I gotta say i really cherish everything more. Although i'm gonna book in again tomorrow evening, but this bookout was well spent, and that's what's most impt.

Maybe i'll get to share about this some time with somebody, somebody who wants to listen. This week's gonna be tough as well, but i'm pretty sure i won't be crying anymore. I just wanna make sure i have enough sleep tonight, but there are still some things that aren't done yet. Better do things fast so that i can sleep earlier.

You seemed really weird today, totally not your usual self. I don't know if anything happened in this 3 weeks, but i gotta say, i'm abit concerned. Hopefully i'm not paranoid or anything.

2012-02-18T00:07:00.002+08:00

1st bookout. gt delayed abit, actually cos the sergeants came up abit late to inspect our field packs=.= Oh well it has been a super good experience so far. I really learnt how to cherish the things around me. Just being Singapore is a blessing to me now. Being able to wake slowly from point to point is a luxury. Everything just seems so luxurious now and i'm enjoying my first bookout. As much as i don't wanna waste my time sleeping, i know i have to, cos my body is aching pretty badly. Its a mix of feelings, the time passed very fast and very slow at the same time. Its just weird. I really hope i continue like this though, so that i will always appreciate the things and people around me, not taking them for granted. Tomorrow there's yf yay! hopefully i get to play frisbee in the morning though, gonna represent my company for frisbee YEAH! time to take it up a notch! LETS GO!

2012-01-31T10:01:00.002+08:00

One more hour until i leave for Pasir Ris interchange. Feeling weightless, feeling happy, feeling ready. I finally understand why i want to go but still have that reluctance. 舍不得. I'm gonna miss my family, i'm gonna miss going to church, miss BASICs, miss you. OKAY at least that's how i really feel right now. Don't laugh at me. Cos i'm still kinda immature.

These two months unlocked and revived alot of things about me. If i had a chance to share, i would. But that'll probably take a long time to finish saying everything.

Its time.

2012-01-31T00:37:00.002+08:00

耶和華祝福滿滿

12hours left. comp couldn't type chinese, actually its supposed to be ci fu man man. But yeah, the day has finally came. Its weird but i'm feeling so happy and i really have this peace within me that everything will be aye-okay.

Its really kinda awkward that people are caring for me so much, to be honest i've never been showered by so much care and concern before. All the more i shouldn't take things for granted. Really thankful for all the advice that brothers have given me, thankful that everyone had time and chose to spend it with each other, thankful that prayers were constantly emphasised, thankful that everyone was constantly growing spiritually, thankful that things happened, thankful that i got to know some people more, and you know if i'm gonna continue this list, its never gonna end. Jingyang asked me just now, people can pray for 4hours or more at one go, REALLY MEH? All i said was to think about what God did in your life, that's enough for you to pray for a LONG time, not forgetting that it is important that we pray for others as well, encouraging and giving that extra boost by remembering them in our prayers. I gotta say i learnt alot in these short two months, it wasn't wasted like i thought it would be, that in itself, is a blessing from God. There's just so many things i want to say, but it would cause this whole post to be more lengthy. All i hope is that i don't forget what happened in these two months so that i can always be reminded about whatever i learnt and apply it in my spiritual battle.

I guess today is special? In a way, in many ways. Thankful to God that if not for Him, things would've been ugly. It was a crazy move with a godly motive, and this certainly made my faith so much stronger. What the future holds? i don't know, but He knows. As for now, i'm feeling peaceful deep down in my heart. Army? I AM GO!

2012-01-30T15:46:00.002+08:00

There's a song that really conveys my feelings now. Weightless - All Time Low

Manage me, I'm a mess
Turn a page, I'm a book half unread
I wanna be laughed at, laughed with, just because
I wanna feel weightless and that should be enough

If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by

And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere*

'Cause I've been going crazy, I don't wanna waste another minute here*

I wanna feel weightless 'cause that would be enough

This ain't all the lyrics. But its these sentences that really tell how i feel now. I really feel weightless cause that is enough.

Now i know got some people who will read this blog. So, i gotta say this. I'M NOT EMO! HAHAHAHAHA

2012-01-30T11:06:00.000+08:00

Stay calm. Please.

2012-01-30T02:29:00.002+08:00

Woah. Really can't sleep. Well there really is a first for everything. Gotta pray for wisdom in my speech and please let me have the right intentions and heart for doing this. I'm really afraid of what will happen, but i leave it to God. I chose to do this, so i gotta be thankful of whatever the outcome may be. Can't help but to think, is this the right thing to do?

2012-01-30T00:07:00.003+08:00

1 day left. Last day to be crazy. I think i will be.

Today was a crazy day! Reached church at a record breaking 8.25am! oh yeah! Zixin passed me the cd of photos today, THANKS ZIXIN! Lingchung passed me a letter which i'm supposed to open on tuesday night, THANKS LINGCHUNG! Chenxi passed me a letter too, THANKS CHENXI! Chenxing passed me something as well, THANKS CHENXING! I'm really so thankful that i have BASICs there to encourage me, pray for each other alright! :D

Choir today was so fun as well! Did warmups as usual and for some reason, we managed to learn the song quite fast! We didn't sound that good together though but that's why we need the practices! I'm only left with 4 practices though, really pray that God can help me serve Him better even though i only have 4 practices left.

Then there was badminton and bball! I really gotta say, i SUCK at bball. AND badminton=.= guess i only can throw the disc huh :( Oh well, that's enough for me HAHA

Gonna miss all these outings, but hey, if life was always fun and laughter, how are you able to suffer for God? Think positive! Think in a godly manner.

2012-01-29T09:58:00.002+08:00

Hymn 347: i need Jesus

I think the chinese translation for the title is a bit off? It says more like i want Jesus rather than i need. Its good to want, but we only want Him when we are facing troubles. We need to realise that we need Him, no matter what.

2012-01-28T23:27:00.002+08:00

Back from another long day! (Soon it'll be long weeks! HAHA) For some weird reason i was seeing and feeling so many things i usually won't in a normal day. The TARDS planned an outing for me, though it was not the perfect outing i have to say, people pangseh, people complaining that it was boring and want to go home. erggghhh, but still i thank you guys for planning this :D

Got my watch at compass point and little did i expect that a thought would've triggered in my mind. I saw the watch that i wanted immediately when i went into the shop but the shop uncle was attending to another 2 customers so he asked me to wait. So i was looking at all the watches on display. Suddenly, BAM! It hit me. I was feeling so intimidated by all the watches ticking, they displayed different times and the ticking was different as well. Time is such a fascinating thing to think about. Everyone's view on it is different, it depends on what you're doing, who you're with and what you're thinking. It can be very fast or it can be very slow. Brought me back to the theory of relativity, everything is relative. When we compare our suffering to what Jesus suffered during his 33years on Earth, everything seems so peaceful and smooth. But well, time is still something i don't really dare to comment on.

2nd thing that happened today. I cried during the movie, "We Not Naughty". To be honest, I DON'T KNOW WHY I CRIED? SO scary! i didn't think i would cry during movies. I'm not a person that would cry easily, maybe because i cried too much when i was young. For some reason, there were alot of things i could relate to in this movie. There are alot of times when we treat our parents the way they treat us, in a bad way. From their point of view, they will think that they can do this because they are our parents but we will think that its unfair, and thus the rise of a miscommunication. The part where the most tears flowed was when the teacher was chasing his students, telling them why its wrong for them to work for the loansharks and how it will affect their future. I say first okay, i'm NOT involved in things like that but what the 2 students said was really how i felt 2 years ago. I'm already in this state, so what if anything happens to me? I am in such a lousy school, what future is there for me? Furthermore, i retained in this lousy school! What else do you want from me? I had these thoughts 2 years back. I got reminded of myself, and i just couldn't help it, but cry.

Third thing was dinner at timbre! Food was great, so was the price=.= BUT it was definitely worth it. Now i really wanna learn singing so that i can sing at places like that next time. There was this guy who pulled off many songs very well! First time i've heard a Singaporean sing SO well! Its really a satisfying feeling when people are enjoying their food while listening to you sing, and most importantly, they enjoy it. I don't care about the pay, as long as people enjoy listening to me singing, its definitely worth it. I'm not good enough now, so i'll continue to try harder!

Crying isn't a bad thing, i was just surprised because i always find it difficult to cry.

2012-01-28T00:03:00.003+08:00

BEST DAY EVARRRR!

Just came back from an evening with BASICs and i gotta say i've never felt so loved :) It just pumps me up thinking that i'm gonna be okay in tekong. When i think about how God has put them into my life, it really gives me motivation! Need concrete evidence? There'll be photos from Zixin! I really hope i'm not treating this as the end like what Hongen said. Its really important to enjoy time with one another but at the same time we don't just enjoy each other's company but to encourage each other in this spiritual battle in our everyday lives! I really hope i don't forget this important lesson that i've learnt in this 2 months if not i would've just been wasting my time. Thanks everybody for taking out time today! And i thank God as well for putting them into my life! :D

From here on its gonna be army stuff and there'll be more in the future haha.
I'm gonna write down what i shared just now so that 3weeks later i can see if i overcame the challenges that i think i would face.

1. Speech
Alot of people have been telling me that what you say will be greatly affected. Its really true, but when i think more into it, if i never say it out loud but in my mind i actually mean those words then it works the same way as well. So it ain't about the actions, its about the heart and ultimately what dictates ur actions is your heart. Yeah it really works that way. Just have to guard my heart which is equal to my actions and thoughts.

2. Lust
I never really thought about this problem before until lingchung told me. It really was a great reminder to myself and other brothers who are going into the army. Even if you could resist it, there are bound to be people who would bring related stuff into the camp and then they will start to influence you. At the same time, when they start to influence you, its a really good time to be a good testimony! I mean people will see that you're different and may think why you're like that. Then subsequently i'll be able to spread the gospel to them and invite them to our church! I'll never know what God has in plan for me in army. Gotta look forward to it!

3. Focus
I'm really afraid of this and that's why i put it as my last point. I think i'm that kind of person that finds it VERY hard to start something, but once i made the decision i'll go all out. Well at least that was how i acted during a leadership camp during my NPCC times in Nan Chiau. I really don't want myself to go for all the worldly pride and glory like going into OCS or whatever to make myself feel more zai. Its really bad when it turns out that way. My focus will be shifted to something that is so off from what i'm supposed to be striving towards. Which is to glorify God in whatever i do.

I really hope i will be able to do whatever i hope i can achieve in there and somehow, army seems like a really good place! A lot of advice from the brothers and encouragement from everyone really REALLY goes a long way. Gotta remember what i learnt and apply it in my everyday life. FIGHTING!

2012-01-27T09:42:00.002+08:00

What a weird night. I can't sleep properly, i'm waking up like every 2hours. Getting to sleep was a torture. Maybe it was because i slept during the day? Or is it because of other reasons? Ahh don't care le la. Thinking of all these will just make it worse.

Haven't packed my army bag yet. Saw the list of items to bring in. Seems like a alot though, don't know if my bag is big enough to bring all the things listed. Alamak. Everything seems so fast. Just let me enjoy a few more days before i enter. Please Brian, stop thinking about it already. You have no time for that. Guess i can only pray about this because i know God will help me if its coherent with his plan for me.

2012-01-27T00:26:00.002+08:00

I'm kind of addicted already. REALLY.

Back from dinnering with sis and cousin. I gotta say i guess jiaying was right in saying i would have regretted it. But as of now, not really. That feeling of being overfull is so jialat. But i didn't know what happened to my policy of shi jien bu duo le. Though i really thank God i went to spend time with my cousins. Ahhh stupid me. So stupid you know, Brian? You seriously don't know how to think.

After looking at jiaying's sketchbook, i really want a drawing from her! Its so pretty! i like the sunflower best! Is it because i'm a bee? Nah see you're being stupid again, Brian. Hmm should i go asking her for it? But she's kinda busy too. Better not right? And i wonder if she's willing to draw something for me, what will she draw? A pig? A bee? A pig with a bee's head eating friedrice served in a frisbee?! SO FUNNY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. HAHAHAHAHA

2012-01-26T19:46:00.003+08:00

Really shouldn't have went home to sleep. Sleep liao den dun wanna go out zzz. Now i fee l so bad. I dunno why i just have a tendency to do these kinda stuff. Pangseh people den regret it after that. ALO BRIAN WAD'S YOUR PROBLEM!

But i gotta say, this is the first time i pangseh people den after awhile regret and go. SORRY COUSINS AND SIS! :(
Why did i do this? I don't know. Or maybe i do. Anyway TIME TO CHIONG.

2012-01-26T18:00:00.002+08:00

Just had a small talk with weimin laoshi and really! Im so glad God gave me this chance to talk to her about so many things!i really think she's the only adult in church i can really talk to? And its really really personal stuff not jusmy first t some random conversation. I got alot of advice from her and it really helped me sort out alot of my thoughts and how i should be looking at things. Once again i thank God for letting me have this conversation with wmls so that in a way i'll be more prepared for army. I wouldn't know how army will be like, i dont even know how i will spend this remaining 5 days. I just hope that in everything i do, i'll do it with God as my first priority and that i'll learn to reply and depend on him more in my everyday life. God, please guard my heart in the upcoming weeks so that i won't do anything crazy.

2012-01-26T12:48:00.003+08:00

Yeahh! Managed to flick and play bball for the last time before i ride the ferry. ERGHHH. but wow i managed to throw a bball. Awesome stuff, hopefully sunday won't rain den can bball before playing badminton. Well, cliche stuff but yeah 5 days left. One hand le. As what lingchung said, as long as there's still time left i gotta constantly prepare myself especially in the mind for the army. No time to waste.

Really glad i had the short talk with wx ytd. And im REALLY GLAD. Managed to say whatever i want to say. Never thought i'd have a htht with wx before though. I guess God really surprises me everytime(in a good way!) Now off to meet weiminlaoshi. Few days left, expecting quite a bit of htht here and there. And there's always this hope.

2012-01-25T00:47:00.002+08:00

Fun day today with lunch at jingrong laoshi's house and the rest of the afternoon and night at weimin laoshi's house. FUN! Arghh gonna miss all these in abit. I dunno how other view this but oh well, i'm really feeling neutral about it. Really really neutral.

Had a really weird train ride back home. From serangoon to hougang usually takes like 6min? Tonight it seemed very very long. Maybe it feels this way when i'm thinking of stuff.

6days left. Really gotta arrange my thoughts and prepare myself to go into army. I really thank everyone who gave me advice for army. Especially these two days when i saw so many people. So many things i already know about army and so many things that i have to experience it for myself.

The future is always unknown, there are so many things i don't know. Its just frustrating when you want to know some things that you don't.

2012-01-23T23:34:00.002+08:00

多的是你不知道的事.

Argh. You know its hard to treat someone as a friend when you have feelings for that person?
You wouldn't know the boundary because you become a fool. A complete fool.
I'll just leave it there. Or maybe i'll just learn not to care anymore.

2012-01-23T19:57:00.002+08:00

My uncle just asked me a very simple question. What do you get when you mix black and white? Well the answer is obvious. I said black.
When did i become so complicated? I guess i really think too much sometimes. Thinking of too many things which is unnecessary and gives too much pain.

Stop thinking so much.
How?

2012-01-23T00:20:00.002+08:00

Had a really fun at gu ma's house today! Played Devil May Cry 4 on ps3 the whole afternoon! But then i will have motion sickness when playing consoles WHYYYY den there was dinner and karoke session! My cousins bought this karoke machine like 6 months back and no one knew how to fix it LOL den my dad came over and fixed it in like an hour and we all enjoyed it alot. Singing takes the pain away. It really does.

2012-01-21T23:55:00.002+08:00

I know the Lord will make a way for me,
I know the Lord will make a way for me,
If i look to Him and pray,
Darkest night will turn to day,
I know the Lord will make a way for me.

I really really like this hymn, simple yet it means so much to me.
In many aspects of my life, this hymn covers it all.
So let me memorise this, so that i may be comforted by this fact that He will make a way for me.

Gotta practise what i preach, time to sleep.

2012-01-21T13:44:00.004+08:00

I used to be a simple person. Eating simple, wearing simple clothes, thinking simple.
When did i become like this until i can't understand myself anymore?
I guess i was happy in the last month. Now i'm just thinking, thinking too much like a fool.
How many times must i go through this until i finally learn my lesson?
I can't be alone. I'll be emo. Yet, i like being like this. Its a weird world, or maybe its just me.

2012-01-21T00:49:00.003+08:00

-Emo Post Alert-

If people asked me a question, which object would best describe you, what would i say? I had this random thought on the way back and it seems rather true. I would describe myself as a mirror. As boring as the people around you and as interesting as the people around you. I would treat people the same way they treated me. Maybe i'm always very particular about the fact that its always even. If someone gave me something, I'm compelled to give that person something back as well. But you see, there's a flaw. If someone treated me very badly, i would treat that person very badly as well. I've thought about it a few times now, its just today that i discovered something more about this characteristic of me.

Also, 10 days left. I really don't want to go? Yes, I'm referring to army. People always say, eh why you so pessimistic about going in? Eh army only la, no big deal one. Well those people are the people whom i meet almost everyday. And this is also the reason why I don't really like, or rather, i don't really dare to be close to anybody. The feeling of parting sucks. I hate it. I really hate it. Who am i gonna whatsapp when i will be using some dumbass phone? There won't be anymore lunches, dinners, late-night suppers, chilling at someone's house, or simply, going out just to have fun, to play frisbee or something. I enjoy all these little things, just because you guys are not just my friends, but my brothers and sisters in Christ as well. i guess i gotta think in another perspective as well. Even if i'm not going into the army, everyone's so busy right now and i'll be bored anyway. So yeah, army. Thanks little space, i didn't realise that until now.

All of the wasted time
The hours that I left behind
The answers that I'll never find
They don't mean a thing tonight

2012-01-20T00:06:00.003+08:00

Six feet under the stars - All Time Low

I find myself listening to this song, once again.

"I should've known better than to call you out, on a night like this."

2012-01-19T23:59:00.003+08:00

After all these, i feel all the more i should forget. ARGHHH RAGE! But i shouldn't be raging. Its my own fault anyway, i just hope God will help me to forget completely and not leave anything. I guess this is adding another reason as to why i want to go army? Cos i won't get reminded over and over again. Forget about it, PLEASE.

2012-01-19T20:05:00.001+08:00

"Have faith and trust in God's magnificent plans for you."
I don't want this to become my excuse.

2012-01-19T18:07:00.002+08:00

Back from lunch at bukit timah marketplace and guess what i ate there? CAI FAN, BORING! Yeah i'm a very boring person. Same 2 people who brought me to eat xlb went today. Okay la considering it being a very last minute thing cause we only asked last night. HAHA

Alot of things in this world are weird. Including me. And what i think and feel is weird as well. Hmm maybe one day it won't be weird anymore.

It’s a weird world don’t you know it?
It’s a weird world and it won’t slow down
It’s a weird world no matter how you roll it

2012-01-19T10:24:00.003+08:00

Well ytd was fun! Didn't really feel like going at first because my cousins were asking me to pon prayer meeting. Obviously i don't wanna pon la, den i got abit turned off by that and didn't feel like going. I'm still glad that i went though. Became a kid all over again, maybe because i've never really been to these kinda places for a VERY LONG time. Aiyah but motion sickness killed me. Headache all the way. As of now, when i remember those rides, my head is spinning again. WHY AM I SO WEAK?! LOL

Couldn't really focus on yanqun laoshi's sharing also. my head just kept spinning. Constantly felt like vomitting. BAD feeling. Anyway yeah, glad that chenxing has found his job! Finally ah, after so long AND he's still got so long more to go. I only have 12 days... What am i to do in this 12 days?

2012-01-18T09:39:00.002+08:00

Woke up in the middle of the night by the sound of the rain. I'll usually hate that feeling, but last night was special. It really sounded like a neverending crash of waves onto the shoreline. Maybe it was partly because of i was half-awake, i could close my eyes and imagine i was sitting on a beach.

"And when it rains, on this of town it touches everything."

2012-01-17T22:16:00.002+08:00

I've fallen into a quicksand. The more i struggle, the deeper i sink. I've tried to make it less obvious, but maybe to others and not to you. Maybe you already knew, maybe you don't, though i really hope its the latter. So that it won't end up being awkward, at least for you. I'll try my best, i really will, just so that i can forget you. It may sound really dumb 10years later when i look back at this, but at least this is how i really felt. What i feel 这些年, will eventually become 那些年.

A whole day at home, my mum noticed i was a bit down. Yeah i was. I couldn't tell you that, because you will ask me why and i wouldn't have been able to say it. Even if you know, please don't let me know, i may not be able to take it. I'm going into the army soon, by then everyday will be so full of activities that i might not even remember you at all. Except for the time when people are allowed to call. I'll leave that to later, i just want to sort out this feeling i had for 2years now. Its clinging unto to tightly i haven't been able to shake it off. Think i gotta be stronger in order to shake it away. Or maybe a little more heartless.

2012-01-17T18:05:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wish i could cry instead of keeping it in.
Maybe that'll make me feel better.
Crying alone is kinda hard.

2012-01-17T11:23:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling weird. I haven't ate anything since i woke up and haven't been hungry since then, if that makes any sense to you. I just wanna stay in my room and just be alone, at least for a day. Going out with BASICs is fun and great and it means everything to me. I just don't know why i'm feeling this way, sometimes i hope God would just take it away.

2012-01-17T00:03:00.003+08:00

Hi there!

Good day with BASICs once again, crystal jaded(with 4 different fried rice YEAH?!) and kbox-ed, with a little randomness of seeing jay chou. WOAHH

Little misunderstanding in the mornz, little things here and there that sorta affected me and my sister. Hope everything will go well. In God's eyes.

Made me think, when will i finally be six feet under the stars?

Maybe i ain't getting my motives right in the end... i told myself to forget, guess i failed...

2012-01-15T22:36:00.002+08:00

"Six feet under the stars is a place that doesn't exist. It's a place in your mind where everything and anything is possible. It's a place with no rules or limitations. It's a place where only two people can be at a time where no one can judge them and no one could try to break them apart."
-Alex Gaskarth

Hmm didnt really think about what six feet under the stars really meant. I always thought it was about this guy who feels unworthy of dating a girl. Well its partially true but it wasn't the intended meaning. So yeah. I wish i could be six feet under the stars nonetheless.

Ytd was DJT! Argh, i've been ponning djt for so many months now and i was glad i didn't pon ytd's one! Pastor Soonyong talked about Ezekiel and boy the sermon had so many lessons i had to learn! His humble heart that was willing to serve God was the biggest lesson and reminder to me ytd. I really have to learn that, and i really think its gonna take me years to fully learn this lesson.

This morning's sermon reminded me that our God is emotional as well. It is a comforting fact that He has emotions but at the same time scary. Its scary when He unleashes His violent and angry side but to know that He understands what we're going through, the pain and the suffering and the torment, its really comforting. Especially when He experienced all the emotions a hundred fold more, we can't argue that we are suffering more than He did.

WEEEEE! Went to watch ULTIMATE matches today. Thought there was only 1 den in the end gt 4 or 5 going on simultaneously at once and i missed so many good plays cos jiaying was there like "NICE!" "NICE ONE!" "NICE!" den i missed everything=.= sian diao but just by watching them play my jaw dropped. Perfect throws, imba speed, oinbgkvdf jumping power. I guess i really need army to toughen me up den i can play this sport well. Motivation: +1

Haha and i remembered what i dreamt of in TY camp last year! Gotta write this down before i forget. I told this to Rixi before, dunno if he still remembers it though. I remember all of us playing in a room. Seemed like it was in a camp's setting, we were just playing board games. I was the last to reach and when i went in, guess who i saw? ZIXIN! den i was going all crazy and high cos i didn't know she came back so i was SOOO HAPPY! den after that shouting and screaming, i went out to look for a water dispenser. Just round the corner, JIAYING POPPED OUT! den i was screaming and shouting again! HAHAHA and ended up we pranked the people who were in the room, although i forgot how :| Come to think of it, i didn't really talk to jiaying and zixin before they flew off. But somehow little actions by them made me miss them really bad when they were overseas(especially when we were all in the same sunday school class). Gotta learn to cherish people around me more. Grow a heart.

2012-01-12T23:26:00.002+08:00

Just went to read up on some of the meanings behind the song Therapy by All Time Low, and little did i know that it would have such a history. Alex's brother committed suicide in a car crash and the whole song was written based on that event. It has a mixture of so many emotions that really displays his feelings toward his brother's death. Now that i know the song better, maybe i'll sing it better as well...

2012-01-12T11:47:00.001+08:00

"Charmanders are red,
Squirtles are blue,
I'll fight the Elite Four,
Be the champion for You.

Bet you never knew,
A girl like you,
Is rare as Mew.

You HM05 up my life,
Gave me HM04 to survive.
I'd give you all my gym badges,
Just to stay with you for ages.
You masterball-ed my heart,
Now please, don't break it apart.

You are more exciting than wild pok'emon appearing out of tall grass,
I'd take you out on a movie date, X-men First Class.
I use Repel for Zubats and Rattata,
For you I'll put on cologne and drive a car."

I thought this is rather cool. Quoted from a friend's little space.

2012-01-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

I think I'm on a roll
Here in Little Rock
I'm solid as a stone
Wait and see
I got just one small problem
Here in Little Rock
Without you
Baby I'm not me

Little Rock - Collin Raye

2012-01-09T23:26:00.003+08:00

back on this little space! well 30min more and its 21more days to army! argh i gotta stop talking about army so much. well yeah i've been busy! busy having fun! yayyyyyy some BASICs came to our house ytd to watch movie and play with autumn! not mentioning our secrets that got exposed=.=

i knew it was gonna be a rough lesson tonight and indeed, it really was. Well, that's not a bad thing, but if i listened to the lesson and take no action to apply it in my daily life, it will be. Its difficult to understand how everything has to be allowed by God, although its done with our own free will but God allowed it to happen? and God actually shows his glory through our sins? ahhhh i dunno if its the right word but in a sense that if there's no sin, there wouldn't be a need for Jesus to go up on the cross. Sin originated from man and God did not create sin. It was because of our sinful nature which caused us to sin and put Jesus on the cross, crucifying Him once and again when we sin. I guess the part which struck me the most today was that Balaam was a PAGAN SORCERER?! and that he knew and understood something all of us ought to know and understand as well - Numbers 22:18 [But Balaam answered them, "Even if Balak gave me all the silver and gold in his palace, I could not do anything great or small to go beyond the command of the Lord my God."] I gotta learn to understand this, but first, more reading of the Bible is required as well...

so many things i want to do, so little time, so many things i'll miss out on eventually...

Well, there's no way out of this, so i'm gonna stay in

2012-01-07T22:00:00.001+08:00

Gonna give myself some time. Well, no one said this is gonna be easy.

2012-01-05T23:41:00.001+08:00

God, i thank You for letting me know what to do. I just have to do what i'm supposed to do now.

2012-01-04T09:58:00.002+08:00

有沒有一首歌會讓你想起我

My dad has always been singing 周華健's songs since i was young. Hmm and i think he's the first singer i really really like. haha and since i like to sing as well, this question actually pops up in my mind once in awhile. AND I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS SONG UNTIL YTD sian diao. But yeah, this song should really be my song since i like singing so much. Oh well, i just like this song. HAHA

2012-01-04T00:52:00.001+08:00

For now, she will be the unfinished puzzle of my heart...

2012-01-04T00:33:00.002+08:00

:D feel rather relieved and happy now. talking to my best buds always helps me to identify more and more of my own wishful thinking.

was talking to xavier and teng just now and wowwwww it has been so long since we sat and talked like that, enjoyed it. I guess alot of times we ourselves cant see it. We're always trapped in that wishful thinking of ours making it seem like it all makes sense, but in fact, it doesn't. There's so many possibilities of what something could've meant and i had to insist it meant that way. Oh well, but after showing them, i realised that it could mean so many other things! I'm also starting to treat you more like a friend, i guess? I don't have that kind of nervousness i would have when talking to a girl i like. Hmm i guess God really wants me to forget huh? I shall live everyday as it is right now. Its really not under my control, except the choice to pray :D

Just realised that there isn't any prayer meeting today. THANKS JIAYING! i don't even know if you're reading this. but THANKS ANYWAY HAHA! if not i would've went there and wasted my time. But now i have to find something else to do. Hmm...

2012-01-03T11:54:00.003+08:00

Hi there! was too caught up in looking through the YF retreat photos and listening to oldies that i forgot to post! haha

had a imba huge dilemma ytd - pickup or biblestudy. Well, in the end i went for bible study and i felt really bad towards Hudson because in the end he didn't go for the pickup. Why? Because i pangseh him:( i feel really really bad. But man! i gotta say, if i missed the biblestudy ytd, i would've missed out on so much more!

So we looked at Numbers 21:10-35. Little did i know, the invasion of Canaan only began in Numbers 21:10! Before that, they didn't take possession of any of the places until Heshbon and Bashan where Kings Sihon and Og reigned. Its a comforting fact that God is our warrior and that he fights for us, but its a scary fact that God can be very very violent as well (Revelation 19:11-21).

God is our Provider as well! Numbers 21:16-18, God gave them water to drink and from these few verses we saw how God provided. People had to be gathered and mind you, there wasn't things called the loudhailer or speakers or radio or walkie talkies back then where information can be sent out very fast? It was difficult to gather so many people in one place. God then asked the Israelites to dig a well and mind you again, there was no machines back then to help you dig a hole back then. As for digging a well, no one had an experience of digging a real well but you know its hard work when you know the process of digging a well. Who dug the well? Might be shocking to you, but there were princes and nobles who dug the well. With what? With their scepters and staffs. This was how humble they were at that point in time when they saw how Almighty God was. Man i really gotta learn this lesson of being humble. Putting down my ego and do things for God instead of myself.

Pastor soonyong also said that God provides BUT we must take the action to get it. Just like how God provided them with water but they still have to dig the well THEMSELVES. There's simply no contradiction. At all. You just have to pray about it, do something about it, and accept the outcome. It is in these decisions that we make that we are able to glorify God. I don't know how to say this but i'm ALWAYS stuck at the praying part. Not having enough courage to do something. Especially when pastor sy gave the example of a bgr. Pray about it, ask her out, whether she says yes or no, accept it. But the thing is, what happens if she has a boyfriend? I mean you can't help it when it comes to feelings like that right? It just happens! Do i still go ahead to ask her out? Wouldn't that seem like i'm trying to break them up or smth? What am i supposed to do when it comes to things like this? I guess pastor sy is the only pastor who is constantly reminding us teens/youths about relationships. About how we should be glorifying God through our relationships. And that is REALLY important because everyone of us teens/youths experience that and it is something that adults usually avoid telling us.

I just hope i'll be able to have the courage to do something. I'm afraid. So afraid that everything would be back to square one or even worse. It may make me feel bad coming to church.

Psalm 119:105 "You word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."

2012-01-01T19:59:00.003+08:00

So, there were so many things that took place in the last 3 days! went for the YF retreat camp, kenny's house to stayover and youth lunch a few hours ago. and HEY! its 2012! we'll see if the world really ends this year HAHA

Man, i gotta say i teared up when i heard about pastor soonyong's brother-in-law. About how he wanted to do something for the teens so much that he was willing to forsake his job and disciple the teens. After which he got cancer and 6months later, he died. 10days before his daughter was born. Yeah, a tear dropped down when i heard the last part. i had no idea how he survived that 3 months of being jobless until the church employed him, but i gotta say that's an example of giving your everything to God. There are some things in life on earth that we know are right in God's eyes, and its all written in the Bible. However, there are some things in life that isn't explicitly stated in the Bible and we just have to wait till it happens den we can safely say its all God's plans for us. I find this lesson extremely difficult to learn. Just look at how many of these choices we have to make aren't explicitly stated in the Bible, and how many times did we use our own human means to solve our problems? I guess many many many times. This is why life is tough, and we must depend on God rather than ourselves. Put down your pride, bro.

Ahh sorry to everyone who messages me or whatsapp me. because i can't seem to reply them instantly! SORRY! i'm not the type that carry my phone and pay attention to my phone everywhere i go. A lot of people has always complained that it is hard to contact me and that's just because people seldom contact me! but yeah i know its my problem. just like how lingchung always reminds me i should check my email once in awhile cos there might be something important in there. gotta remind myself more of this!

haha and weimin laoshi said that she will meet us soon for a HTHT! YAY! i dunno why but she's the only adult that i am really comfortable with. i can tell her EVERYTHING, from all my weaknesses to even the girl i like! HAHAHAHA i'm pretty sure she won't tell you^^ but anyway yeah i'm really looking forward to talking to her again since the last time was cny. in 2011. oh well, i just hope i can straighten out my thoughts after talking to her since she's the one who's married :D

Happy New Year, everyone!
I hope that i will be able to walk closer with God in my everyday life despite the bad environment that the army provides. FIGHTING!

2011-12-29T21:30:00.002+08:00

Brian Sng Wen Hao

I'm bad with words. Really really bad with words.

I still can't stop thinking about it... i mean i feel happy when we're having our conversations, i just wanna know if its real.. AHHHHHH so much going through my mind just now when i was going to hougang mall to get the plasticine. this feeling is kinda suckish. There are so many words that i just can't form into a proper sentence in my mind, and i can't stop myself from saying it. Usually it'll make me feel stupid but i just hope that someone can at least understand 50% of what im saying, that's enough for me. Even if u try to understand, that's enough for me. I just need someone to listen, someone who's patient enough to wait for me until i form a proper sentence..

2011-12-29T19:54:00.002+08:00

I feel that i gotta say this, at least to myself. I'm kinda afraid to take the initiative now. "Once bitten, twice shy" i got bitten twice, does that mean i'm 4x as shy? It's always expected that guys must take the first step, but i'm scared. I'm scared that i get bitten again. What if things doesn't turn out the way you imagined? Or at least things took a wrong turn... having to start all over again isn't fun, at all. Somehow i think its real, but i'm the type that would let my feelings cloud my judgement. So i can't be too sure over this matter. Especially when she treats everyone equally nice. And by "nice", i mean very nice. There's always something to talk about with her and you'll feel that it is a very enjoyable conversation. At least for me. In my eyes, she treats me very nicely, but from other people's point of view, she treats me the same as how she treats them, nothing special. She's different from alot of girls i know, maybe it all started because of this? but i didn't see the other part of it, she treats everyone the same. I just don't know, so confused about this matter.

I'll have to think more about it... whether i treat her as a very good friend, or is this feeling real...

This post has been published with the assumption that i think that no one reads my blog anymore.

2011-12-28T00:59:00.000+08:00

Been thinking about what Xavier said, I hope its not true though...

2011-12-28T00:23:00.002+08:00

Alright finished dota-ing with guowei and yuherng! the yeo brothers already playing so couldn't ask them to play, SIAN! oh well, i still have 4weeks! 4weeks to NS! wah sian everytime i think of that i'm sian, but should i be? i mean its a new environment i have to adapt to and may have the chance to talk to other people about Christ! Shouldn't that be a happy thing? maybe its the running and the training that turns me off. Oh well, TIME TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT!

i kinda realised something, everyone's always super TIRED during meeting. HAHA kept yawning and yawning and yawning and I JUST YAWNED AGAIN! ARGHHH its a sign i gotta sleep soon. there's gonna be frisbee tomorrow and prayer meeting in the night yay! i really gotta go for prayer meeting whenever i can. its really a good way to pray for people u don't know in the church. somehow u get to know them better as well :D

had a nice htht with xavier just now. went to the little green space behind my house after gym and yeah many things changed! Although we might have differing views on some stuff but hey! i just realised how much xavier knows about me. since p5, it has been 9 years since i've known him. WOW 9 YEARS! nxt year den decade le HAHA old friends lo. but yeah we had a really nice chat about how we should view certain stuff and i really enjoyed it. At least i've said it out now and i feel really good. I really shouldn't tell people about this though, if my cover is blown. den gg. really gg.

well maybe i'll have a nice htht with weimin laoshi soon :D

2011-12-27T00:29:00.003+08:00

yay! back from an awesome day yet again! went for witness day in the mornz and i was teamed up with lingchung and zhihao! well i hadn't attended tracting sessions for quite a long time and so they did most of the talking in the end haha! Made me realise that there really are alot of unsaved souls out there and its out mission and duty to spread this good news to everyone! But first, there's homework to be done! Getting to know about other religions and learning how to speak dialect!

After that we went to jiaying's house for the bbq, alright i was wrong. ITS MORE FUN TODAY! :D haha they laughed at my prayer la=.= but yeah it was pretty funny la LOL den there was zhong ji mi ma! yiliang sad case, kena 4 times PHAIL! but that's why yiliang is interesting as well! at least there isn't much food wastage! enjoyed myself thoroughly today, really! especially the lightsticks part, hey its my first time doing things like this so cut me some slack! i'm still kinda noob :D It was a simple one but as long as they like it?! its worth it! hehe i hope we have as much fun as we did today during the YF retreat. I'm sure we will! Jireh gonna bring guitar, that's the main part of fun for me heh :D

when is hudson getting my classic white ultrastar?!

2011-12-26T00:06:00.001+08:00

Don't treat me too well, I'll fall for you...

2011-12-25T22:04:00.003+08:00

hmm so ytd was an awesome day! gym-ed in the morning, frisbee in the afternoon (despite of the rain!) and christmas party-ed at uncle david's house in the night. AWESOME! especially in the afternoon cos hudson, sheng, teng and me did some trickshots! so fun! and i threw one long distance shot. I can't imagine myself playing real ultimate frisbee though. i get tired just by throwing CASUALLY G_G oh well...

today was gan en hui! all the presentations were super cute! from little kids to adults, almost every age group performed except for YOUTHS! WHY NO YOUTHS?! i cant't really think of what we can do on stage anyway so yeah HAHA den choir gathering at limei laoshi's house in the afternoon. And u bet i was surprised with who turned up! Prof Chun and Shixin! (in a good way of course=.=) felt so thankful that they are actually thinking of serving God in different ministries! had a great time there talking and laughing together, and of course EATING THE STEAMBOAT WHICH WAS IMBA NICE! i guess the steamboat at jiaying's place tomorrow wun be as nice... NO OFFENCE! HAHA but ya cos limei laoshi and jingrong laoshi gt this special steamboat thing that can bbq stuff at the side and YEAH we ate alot of meat heh heh^^

Well, back to that thing again. i really feel i'm going crazy sometimes. Maybe i know the reason why God hasn't allowed it yet, maybe because it is something that would distract me from going to church and spend more time serving God? or maybe i haven't put Him at the topmost priority in everything i do. I really don't know. You know i could always end it by getting rejected and i'll forget even easier and faster. But i feel that's not the right thing to do for now. Besides, it'll mean i'm selfish and it would be super awkward between us. I just hope God gives me a sign as to what i should do or maybe some hints on what i should do. One biggest question i have in my mind right now - to continue or not. i could tell myself to forget her and eventually i really will. ARGH I DUNNO. that's why i'm going crazy...

i still think nobody would read this anymore...

2011-12-23T23:43:00.002+08:00

okay! went for bible study(chinese) for the first time today! thought it would end at 930 but there were questions and it ended at 10pm instead. To be honest, i was abit frustrated at first because i wanted to go home early, to feed autumn and try and sleep early. but after hearing some of the sharing and answers to the questions it kinda changed. and its really through walking closer with God that we are able to prepare ourselves in the 2nd coming of Christ. Because it was in chinese i couldn't really concentrate and i felt some of the points were repeated den i went to think about other things :P

On another note. I'M SUPER MAD AT MYSELF! it has further proven that i'm very easily distracted by it and i ask myself again and again. Am i going to church for the correct reasons? I really want to listen and read more about God's words but when i'm there reading and listening to it, i get distracted. VERY EASILY. argh, how i wish i could get rid of this feeling once and for all. return back to my heartless self. so that i don't have to feel some of the unnecessary things which is getting in my way. In a way, i feel like i may do something rash like i did the previous 2 times. I really need to find someone to talk to asap, maybe weimin laoshi. i'm sure she can give me some pretty good advice.

Psalm 25:17 "Relieve the troubles of my heart, and free me from my anguish."

2011-12-23T11:53:00.002+08:00

went to run just now! only just to realise that they are doing some construction work on the track behind the community club. so in the end i went to run around all the hdb buildings and hey! i survived! haha at least i ran for awhile, which i haven't been doing for months. and NS is in one month! G_G

Somehow i feel i still can't differentiate my emotions, whether i treat someone as a friend or as something more? or how do i define a close friend? maybe i just treat you like a close friend like how you treat me. i tend to reciprocate how people treat me, i guess that's good in a way? but yeah i can be nasty at times too. well i'll need more time, to forget and to make things clear to myself.

2011-12-22T22:52:00.003+08:00

What did i say about today? Slack at home? NO WAY! in the end i went out for lunch and i just came back from frisbee. WUTTTTT! super fun-filled day, especially frisbee time!

You know i've always had something for frisbee trick shots after watching brodie smith throw some sick trick shots. Yeah there's no way i can ever be as good as him but hey! i threw a frisbee into the basketball hoop at the 3-point mark, den hudson threw in one at the 3-point mark. Den for some unknown reason he threw one at the half-court and it WENT IN?! den i tried as well. and i SUCCEEDED TOOO! YAYYY! haha BUT main thing was sheng's shot. both me and hudson threw a hammer but this sheng ah, he threw one backhand and it WENT IN. Guess what? he threw it from 3/4 court. WUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! madness. but it can be done!

I hope i can do it as well...

2011-12-22T09:59:00.002+08:00

Just woke up after sleeping for 10hours?! thats a record since i dunno when, but its been a long time since i slept that long. Finally there's a day i can slack at home! Play some dota, watch some shows, and maybe i'll hit the gym later. See how bah, feeling awake already. But ah that's always how i feel when i wake up even though i'm tired. weird max.

Make me a blessing to someone today...

2011-12-21T23:22:00.002+08:00

Just got back from church. For the first time, i went to prayer meeting. It really further proved to me that our prayer life is a very important part of our spiritual growth. I wasn't very awake throughout the whole meeting, but i think i've gotten some of the main points. Our prayer is often very self-centered?
We are always praying for our own will and not God's will.
We pray for the things we desire rather than for God's plan to be fulfilled in our lives.
We pray for ourselves more than we pray for others.
There's really alot of lessons i have to learn in my prayer life.

With regards to that matter again, i think i won't ever stop praying about it? It just comes back to me every now and then. Bugging me every now and then. To be honest, the more i think about it, the more i feel its my fault and not yours. i mean it is my fault in the first place to not control myself. Even when i knew of certain facts, i still never gave up hope. I guess there are some things which is better giving up. I don't know. As much as i want to forget about it, i know that shouldn't be what i should pray for. I should pray that i can follow God's plans for me and not asking Him to help me forget. But there's always a part of me wishing that i can forget asap? Maybe its because i think its the fastest way to take away the pain. I guess the others are right. I'm just too ignorant.

I still think nobody reads this blog though... i hope i'm right...

2011-12-21T13:08:00.002+08:00

You know just awhile ago, i was feeling very bad. very very bad. I don't really know what word to use though, "bad" doesn't seem to be a good representative of what i was feeling. Why i felt like that? Yeah you guessed it, about that thing again.

i asked myself the same questions that i asked myself a few days back, whether i'm having the right heart and motive in God's work. Yeah on the outside i may be serving the Lord and all, but am i having the right heart? You know the more i ask these questions, the more doubt i have. So is it really okay to ask yourself this question? I felt really bad about myself, always being so weak in this particular area. On one hand, i wanna forget. Forget this feeling, forget everything so that i may serve the Lord whole-heartedly. But on the other hand, its really difficult to forget? I mean its not something that happens overnight. And along the way, struggles never end.

But you know, this really showed me how powerful a prayer is. i prayed about this matter and i really felt better. Its not that i prayed to ask God to help me forget, but its more of asking God to examine my heart constantly so that i may continue to walk on this narrow path.

i wish i could forget though...

2011-12-21T11:37:00.003+08:00

WOAHHH! first time going out till so late in the MORNING! 3+ den reach home sia. really a first and with BASICs somemore. ownnnnnn! :D ate some imba food at bukit timah? i only know the food was imba and i ate alot. as in ALOT. So after that we party world-ed and i kept hogging the mic. ahhhhhhh my voice is still feeling kinda weird. COULD'VE SANG HIGHER MAN! if not for the sore throat and the noise i made when we were eating haha but was fun though! tm was the most epic one. Imba range sia wutttttttt.

Somehow i haven't met the tards for a very very long time. everyone's got army and i can't join them on weekends even if there are any outings. Maybe this saturday can though, but next weekend i dun think i can join them for the countdown. ok MAYBE.

Sometimes, i wish there was someone i could talk to about everything(apart from God that is). I guess i just have to wait and see what God's plans for me are. It will be the best, i know it.

2011-12-19T22:21:00.002+08:00

alright! went with some of the brothers to the gym today and i can't seem to be able to lift as heavy as last time. siannnnn guess i gotta train more and get it back.

feeling super tired now. gotta go recce the place for the YF retreat. I hope it doesn't rain! but i'll still leave it to God to decide that. Hopefully everything goes well tomorrow, we will get to see the place and have a good discussion about the games. Its kinda important this time round cos the sec4s are coming as well so i really want to integrate them into the youths so that they wun feel like a stranger. I mean the youths are a crazy bunch too!

So it seems like this feeling keeps tagging along wherever i go and i can't seem to shake it off. Its really hard i guess but trials like that never end. I just gotta learn from it and prepare myself for similar trials like that in the future.

alright time to sleep soon. cui already...

2011-12-17T21:21:00.002+08:00

I don't think anyone is gonna read this. Since the last time i made a post was in March 2010? i guess blogs isn't really the "in" thing nowadays but nonetheless i'm still gonna make a post today. I guess the family camp this year has been a very good camp for me. The sermons i heard really questioned my heart and faith. I sincerely hope that i'm able to keep this with me in my daily life.

You know sometimes when a brother/sister comes up to you and ask if you're free to talk? Then you continue a conversation discussing about things that you aren't able to discuss with ur other friends? Having a conversation with someone who believes in the same things as you is really really comforting. Because you that you're not alone, and by the fact that there's someone whom you know keeps you in prayer is already comforting. I really enjoy these conversations and i thank God for that.

More and more people have been coming up to me saying its obvious. I don't know if its the way i talk to her or the the way i treat her or for whatever reasons. But,one thing is for sure, as long as it doesn't affect my heart for God. I think its still okay? i really need to talk to someone who has experienced this to tell me what to do. Meanwhile, i'll continue praying and put my hope in God that He'll lead me in this aspect of my life. Another question i have is also, does she know? You know, i have the courage to post this because i assume that nobody reads my blog anymore so it really serves as a place for me to type my thoughts out...

2010-03-10T20:35:00.002+08:00

ALRIGHT! TOOK ME LONG ENOUGH! 3 DAYS! 3 days to upload all those videos. haha now they're up and tagged. but looking through all the vids and pics. I'M STARTING TO MISS PARAMORE! D: i miss that concert atmosphere when paramore's around. i miss hayley. i miss PARAMORE! argh. hope they come to singapore again soon =D

but because of this concert, i made 2 new frens, and experienced wad mosh is. well, it totally sucked. and how a concert is like. GOSU EXPERIENCE! especially when its PARAMORE! haha. really miss them.

tomorrow's the camp i've been 'WAITING' for.. =.= firstly, its so late, there's not much need for the class to bond anymore, secondly, its planned by the PE DEPARTMENT and NOT the STUDENT COUNCIL. so there'll be a lot of restrictions here and there. and there isn't any FUN ACTIVITIES. all the usual camp stuff. wad a boring camp. argh. oh well.

P.S. PARAMORE! \m/

2010-03-08T00:14:00.003+08:00

OH YEAHHHHHH! JUST CAME BACK FROM PARAMORE! AND I'M STILL SO HIGH!!! I SAW HAYLEY AND THEY PERFORMED TWO SONGS I WANTED FROM THE NEW ALBUM! CAREFUL AND LOOKING UP! PLUS THEY PERFORMED ONE SONG FROM THEIR FIRST ALBUM - LET IT GO! WOOOOOOOOW. PARAMORE IS AWESOME!!! YEAHHHH! PARAMORE! VIDS AND PICS I TOOK WILL BE UP SOON! STAY TUNED!!! =DDDDDDD

2010-03-04T21:20:00.002+08:00

AH CHOO! *sniff* Its been so long since i gt flu la. GAH! This sucks. From tuesday till now, still went for training yesterday. BUT, i felt better after training yesterday. today morning den kena again. Dunno if its because of the haze? argh i need to cure this! There's training tomorrow, RJ friendly and church on saturday, church and PARAMORE! on sunday. So yeah. I HAVE to recover. Hmm. There will be a rather physical post soon. Maybe tomorrow? haha. It'll be about volleyball. YEAHH! PASSION! CHIONG AH! 2ND TEAM! ^^

2010-02-18T22:15:00.003+08:00

HEY! Long time no blog! I know I know, alot of people has been saying this blog is dead and such. BUT! i'm back! Actually, i have nothing in particular to blog about. However, there's one very significant change in my life and its pretty much shown above. Volleyball's my cca now. Well, it all started with kenny and bob and isaac. Infocomm was too slack until we wanted to join another cca and honestly, i dunno why i ended up in volleyball.

Although its not rili a bad idea afterall!! wah seh volleyball is like the next big thing in my life now. Though i've only been attending trainings this year, i'm starting to enjoy it sia(maybe because training is slack. HAHA!)

hmm.. about my new class if u guys have been wondering. my class is not bad up till now and i'm dun feel as restricted as last year cos i'm like the big brother in the class? haha. the teachers that i got are not bad too, except for the chem teacher=.= CUI AH! i hope this class turns out to be what i think it is. AHH we just need to bond more now. and camp is still like 3WEEKS AWAY? GAH!

k. gonna end here. Volleyball training's tomorrow. Jia Yi and Alvin coming sia. Like happy only. LOL. Need some sleep and sunblock for tomorrow. People have been commenting about my skin colour recently. GOODNIGHT!~

2009-10-30T23:23:00.003+08:00

You know how sometimes you create something so perfect, so ideal just to lie to youself even though you know it ain't real? Initially, everything was just perfect, but as time goes by, the truth starts revealing itself and the truth is the total opposite of what you thought. Clouded by your own feelings, you create this mirage. The mirage that's used to satisfy your own desires. The mirage that's perfect. But, face it, the truth hurts. What you think may not always be the truth.

EMO SIOL! don't worry! me not emo! =D

2009-10-04T20:48:00.002+08:00

alright alright i know i havent been updating for quite some time and this time.. i bring bad news - i have a HIGH CHANCE that i may retain. So here comes the question, should i go poly? or retain in j1? difficult decision la i'll leave that till after promos, when the sentence is given. OH MAN! retaining SIAN TTM LA! but teng has a chance to retain too, so if he really retain den we go same course in poly de la! sad there's no vocals course in poly if i'll be the first to enrol siol~

anyway revised alot for econs today, weird that i chiong so much for my H1 subj instead of my H2 subjs... sian leh school getting abit fun den i'm in fear that i may retain already wthell and i still haven get the chance to talk to u la walao... but really honestly frankly speaking, i dun dare to take the initiative oso.. ARRRGHHHH! so damn freaking confusing..

Priority now: Promos first, AFTER PROMOS... PARTAAYYY! looking forward to friday~ friday~ OH YEAH FRIDAY! oh boy cant wait! but after promos will need to get back results den oso gg le...but prepared le la prepared le so we'll wait and see!

hmm...which poly should i go? TP? NYP? SP? LOL! PROMOS PROMOS! what i thinking? Haiyoh~

2009-08-19T21:05:00.002+08:00

so long since i blogged, ALMOST one month...whew checked just in time...if not one month den got dead blog anniversary le..lolol...lame. registered for the auditions for teachers' day celebration and went to the jamming studio last saturday and ytd night to practise and everything is super new to me. 1st time singing with a band, 1st time going to jamming studio 1st time using mic to singO.o lol so many first times la. and the auditions were today it went pretty smoothly, but still there were complications, drums too loud den cant hear the guitar solo and brandon's guitar solo kena spoil la...damn sian diao...but lucky i never zaoxia la...although i had to gek to reach some of the notes and it din sound nice...at all. well, its the 1st time i'm trying this genre of songs and its quite difficult to put my feelings into the song. hmm...judges commented that we had to have eye contact with the crowd so that it'll improve our stage presence. if they're referring to me den its my bad, but if they're referring to the guitarist den abit too ridiculous ah? we oso not professionals and dun even have enough time to practise of cos muz focus on the guitar so that we wun make any mistakes mah...wth.. ahh nvm la...anyway now jus need to wait for the results for the auditions! Hope we get in!

My Dearest Ah Ma...

2009-07-22T19:39:00.002+08:00

I will forever see you as
The crazy and aloof relative.
I can ignore the social stigma calling you
A burden to our family,
You may not believe me, but no one thinks you are
Worthy of our care and concern.
You will always be
Upsetting us with your displays of forgetfulness;
asking the same question for the 10th time in an hour;
Leaving your dirty undergarments in the fridge, insisting
its a washing machine;
Going for a stroll and never remembering your way back;
No matter what you do,
I hope to make this clear:
Filial peity doesn't apply when you're mentally ill.
Its ridiculous to think that
your condition can be controlled.
Deep within me, I am absolutely certain that
If you are no longer around in this family
Our lives would have been so different.
Anything in this world
Is more important than
Taking care of you.
It dawned on me one day,
If only i could turn back time,
All these would not be the same...

My dearest ah ma... (http://dact09.xi-ayl.com/video.php)

After reading this whole chunk of words, try to read it from bottom to top, line by line...and u'll discover smth which is much more meaningful, enjoy! =D

2009-07-20T19:58:00.002+08:00

Imagine that you're a student in an art class. You and dozens of classmates are learning from a master painter. Once day your teacher displays a painting of his own. It's an incredible work of art, and he wants each of you to copy it.

You're about to begin working when you turn to look at the person next to you. You're surprised to note that he has a larger brush than you and a different kind of canvas. You look around at the rest of the class. Some students have acrylic paint, others watercolor, still others oil - and veryone is using different colors. Though you all have the same assignment, you each have completely different materials. This frustrates you. Some students have materials that you would prefer for yourself. Why should they get them?

You're not the only student to notice the disparity. A hand goes up on your left. A girl with only a ragged brush and three pale shades of blue on her palette is noticeably agitated. " This isn't fair, " she tells the teacher. " How do you expect me to duplicate your painting when the people around me have so many more colors to choose from? "

The teacher smiles. " Don't worry about the other students, " he says. " I've carefully chosen brushes and paints for each of you. Trust me. You have what you need to complete the assignment. Remember, your goal is not to create a painting that mirrors the person next to you, but to do your best with the materials I've given you to replicate my painting. "

[Say hello to courtship] by Joshua Harris

2009-06-25T23:02:00.002+08:00

haha~ so long no blog le...anyway there were 12 cfm-ed cases...BUT there's only left a few now...some ppl recovered...WOOHOO! yeah~ anyway went out with huahyun, huiyee, melvin, sijia, wilson, xavier and yingting to sentosa today...so long since i went there la...and i din noe there was the sentosa monorail from vivocity O.o i was totally clueless bout tt la...den went there slack around...starting dunno wad to do...cos we were at the beach...waiting for xavier to come, den he took so long to come la, so we decided that we go do smth b4 he came, in the end he oso nvr go in sentosa la...lolol...anyway only melvin and huahyun went into the water cos the rest nvr bring xtra clothes=.= sian diao...but we all still played with the water la...lolol...super fun...den kinda spent 1hour there playing wif water and sand..haha...

den we went to vivo to find tt stupid xavier, hu came so late...lolol...had dinner at some food court den talked about alot of things back when we were in 4D la...LOL! it was SUPER funny! all the things we used to do...weiyeow, lik, mainly those ppl hu weren't there la...den we talked about our kfc escapades...HAHAHHAHAH! i tell u - HILARIOUS! LOL! LOLOL! laugh until stomach uber pain...but its was damn fun...

den went home le...AIYAH SIAN! but rili super uber tired la...haha the old days...

ok i'm feeling super random now! not sure why though...but RANDOM! but i guess i rili should go sleep already...awhile more ltr bah i guess...jus awhile more...till today end...and i'll sleep tomorrow! haha...GOODNIGHT PPL! =D

2009-06-21T23:14:00.002+08:00

got to know that zengyi and yuhan have also been cfm-ed with h1n1...i rili hope they're not going through any pain or wad not...and 3 other ppl, qiai, winghay and cheng xing are still waiting for their results...i hope they're ok though...hope there wun be a 5th,6th or 7th case for our church...pls do pray for them...thx...

p.s. Eat more fruits and drink more water! Stay healthy people! =DD

2009-06-21T15:50:00.003+08:00

haha...this whole week spent most of my time at the NUS hostel...because i was at TY camp...it was super fun and uncle soon yong gave a very impactful workshop throughout the camp...but i guess wad's happening now jus cant lift my spirits...

ytd night...everyone jus received news tt serene from FCF hu has attended the TY camp...has been confirmed that she has the H1N1 virus...early this afternoon weng lok has also been confirmed that he has H1N1...and there are also a few others who went to the church camp down with fever, cough and sore throat...but there's nothing much we can do right now except to drink lots of water, stay healthy and not to forget...pray for them...

i really hope everyone's fine...please dun let there be the 3rd case...

2009-06-13T20:57:00.003+08:00

ALRIGHT! HERE GOES 1 WEEK OF ENTRIES! but i tink i gonna cut short a lot...lolol...

LAST SUNDAY! 4D BBQ!
super shiok de la...wad bad things can i say about last sunday...wait ah lemme think...hmm...NOTHING! too fun liao...after npcc camp which i dun wanna talk much about tt...went to cp to meet some of the 4D peeps...den went over to E!hub to play some arcade! woohoo! play jubeat it was like damn fun la...den xavier and ali keep pk-ing each other in all the arcade games...den keep getting owned...noob la xav LOL! i wanna play jubeat again sia...but so ex...$1 each game leh...feel like spamming though...sian...den after tt shopped for the bbq stuff...me and xavier calculate until damn accurate sia cos our list of ingredients muz be less than $40...here's the list of wad we bought and its price...

Charcoal 5.15
Tongs 4.30
Fire Starter 1.55
Margarine 1.90
Satay stick 1.05
Plates 3.25
Forks and spoons 2.20
Wiremesh 4.20
Aluminium tray 2.00
Cups 1.65
Foam box 5.30
Ice pack 7.05

Total: $39.60

SO in total we saved 40 CENTS!!! muahahaha! den bbq singing sessions at the rocks in front of the beach of pasir ris park...wah seh...at night tt place is damn nice la...but ah...npcc camp shout too much den go there no voice to sing...very sian diao sia...camwhored alot la...THX TO SHERYL! LOL! but tt isn't a bad thing...cos i like to take pictures myself =D and we dun get to see each other very often...so we should've tooken more photos la...LOL! wait should be taken...LOL! went home quite late...at around 1145 lolol...but it rili was damn fun...on the bus oso camwhoring...LOL! =D

ACADEMIC WEEK! monday to thursday...
stupid sia...need to go back school for lessons...but ah physics whole week cancelled! YEAAAA! den EVERYDAY! i kena late=.= sian diao...cos cant judge the time well...den like normal sch day lor..jus tt its shorter...den there's this stupid system that makes u take temperature before going into the school den record in some book thing...den tt's the attendance...so its like damn easy to pon school la...jus ask ur fren help u anyhow write temperature can le...lolol...but some lessons they will take attendance...dunno why...

den friday! PC SHOW!
go there...jus to find out tt this year dun have much earphones...kinda boring la this time the PC show...sian diao...den went to eat swensens...damn ex la...but once in awhile ok la...den after tt go home dota liao...LOL!

den today! POLO's HOUSE!
wah seh...his house big de la! shiok sia...den had fellowship there...so long nvr go YF le...but its still feels good going to YF...today's sharing was super beneficial...enjoyed myself there...gave some thoughts bout certain things oso...den after tt...EATING TIME! ate nasi lemak...the dunno wad brothers de...not bad de...forgot the name le...lolol...den another 2 servings of glutinous rice...i hope i spelled it correctly...den many many servings of ice cream...MUAHAHHAHAH! TODAY FEILOU MODE ON!! YADA! den ate many many things and went home...almost din wanna go de...lolol...

hmm...tt's about the end of this week...lets end with a photo!

<3 4D!!!

2009-06-02T00:25:00.002+08:00

wah felt like a pig today la...slept from ytd's 1am till today's 1230pm... nvr slept so long in such a long time...tt's probably why i'm still feeling kinda energetic now...woke up watched some tv...and i FINALLY! clean up my stupid dusty fan...because of the dust ah the stupid fan blow nth one la...maybe can cool an ant nia=.= but now...after I CLEANED IT UP! (super proud of myself sia!) the wind now is super shiokkk...at least can feel smth la...but well...its a local brand...still kinda sucky...

den jus now...went to zhen hui's hse...actually dun wanna go de la...cos super sian...go awhile muz go home...i knew i'll be tempted to go there till damn late...and i rili did...LOL! left his hse at around hmm...11.10 when i should be reaching home at 11pm LOLOL! blasted there...and now...got recognition of teng, hudson, shenglin and zh...now we jus need more ppl to agree with this idea...who knows? we might just make it big...LOLOL!

sian la...tomorrow have to go back school...for some dumbshit GPP discussion with my teacher...damn sian leh...go there awhile den go home...i dun feel like going home straight after tt sia...wanna go out slack slack...lol...anyway...to those in poly taking their exams! JIAYOU FOR UR EXAMS!! sheryl says that i dun ever say good luck...so i muz live up to my name! lolol...GOODNIGHT PEOPLE! =D

holiday~~~

2009-05-30T18:56:00.002+08:00

haha so long haven been updating...sry guys~ FINALLY ITS THE HOLIDAYS!!! have been waiting like so damn long for this la...but holiday...still have to do so much things... SIAN 1/2!! and need new ideas for where to go and wad to do for this holidays...if not ah...we everytime do the same things...very bored ah...anyway...this week went to cp several times...ok la...almost everyday...cos i have to eat dinner mah...den ah gt 2 promoters of some sort...come and ask me the same qns la..."Are u from NS?" =.=| wth sia...lolol...

have been super tired these few days...everytime cant sleep early even if i force myself to...and stomach's feeling uber weird these few days...dunno why...can go shit like 4 or 5 times in a day de...damn sian la...guess i need more water...and proper sleep...

and i realised "To make you feel my love" is a super beautiful song...addicted liao...but i haven listen to the original version yet...only heard kris's version...and he sing it damn well la...except the final part...which i dun tink is damn good...but the whole song is still damn nice la...and i'm still addicted to his version of "aint no sunshine" freaking nice...

guess shall end my post here...dunno why i'll forget wad i wanna blog when its time to blog=.= anyway sayonara~

2009-05-22T22:37:00.002+08:00

sometimes i rili wonder...does phone calls from teachers to parents really benefit the child? i mean the teacher dun even noe how the parent(s) will react...so isit rili good for teachers to phone parents? some teachers like to phone the student's parents alot la...dunno wad's their problem...but some teachers dun even noe how the parents will react and how they will deal wif the situation..if teachers rili care for the student? how do they noe that by calling the parents it would benefit and help the student? and does the teacher noe about the relationship between parent and child? how does the teacher know that wad he or she is doing will not aggravate the relationship between parent and child? and sometimes teachers might be biased...hu noes whether wadever the teacher say is right? it might jus be the teacher's own POV...

lolol...if u're asking me...teachers calling parents is the dumbest thing tt a teacher can do...

NOW I NOE Y MY EYE TWITCHED FOR THE WHOLE DAY!

2009-05-21T23:31:00.005+08:00

WOOOOO! today is A HAPPY DAY! lessons went on as per normal today...only negative thing was during the GPP feedback...it sucked=.= but well...HAPPY STUFF NOW! ok...for the whole damn day...my left upper eyelid was twitching like crazyy la! den audrey tell me i happy tt's y left upper eyelid will twitch...den i was like tinking...wad the crap? LOL! but in the end RILI DAMN HAPPY LA! actually no dinner today de...cos everyone like cannot make it...den in the end still gt ppl managed to make it...hudson, kenny, sheng, teng and me...5 of us go eat kfc...lolol...but they damn late la...so i went to cp earlier...cos i finished school earliest...den took 27...i saw jia yuan leh! still look the same la...lolol...den ah...suddenly i heard someone scream my name la! den i chua tio! den its SHERYL! LOLOL! damn funny...den after tt went to cp, she go buy one very ex cup corn...$2 leh=.= den go library...and she finally has her wireless@SG account...super lol...she forgot the username when she was about to sign in...HAHAHAHHA! tarded~ den after tt did some stuff wif her laptop...like posting on my blog la...den gt take pic and one accidental video...LOL! dunno whether she'll post it on her blog though...but its was DARNN FUNNY! LOL! den after tt everyone came..and hudson has dota in his laptop! like finally la...den we went to kfc to have dinner...

go there lame cock la...they keep talking bout their 2f happenings...RILI DAMN LAME DAMN FUNNY LA! keep laughing and laughing until we forgot it was a public place...den suddenly wing come surprise visit...wif zw...and shili...although i dun rili noe shili...jus noe her name nia...maybe she dun even noe me lor...but anyway...they came lame around and left liao...damn fast la...LOSER~ LOL! den after awhile we oso zhao already...cos it was damn late la...left cp ar around 8.50...super late de...talk cock until damn long...den jus finished watching american idol! WOOO! KRIS ALLEN! YADA! \m/ \m/

2009-05-21T18:35:00.002+08:00

HI! I'm Sheryl. Muahahah! I hacked into Brian's account to post the 230th post!! Ain't I great? Hahaha!

No la, I coindentally met him on the bus just now. Was damn excited! :D

=.= yea that was rili sheryl typing...so hmm...now its me typing...at compass library now...lepak-ing...and now sheryl's showing me some damn lame thing...and she;s saying its damn cool...LOL!!! lol...and now sheryl's going crazy! asking me to say i'm a malay! wthO.o

Now he's too busy msging & says he will think of stuff when he reaches home. So.. stay tuned!! :D

lolol...see...our typing style so different la...kk now she has to go buy dinner liao...adios~

2009-05-15T23:39:00.004+08:00

wah seh...super tired now...noooooo...this week conclusion: GREAT! (especially monday!!!)

monday super happy de la...so many ppl went for the outing la...took soo many pictures...feel like a total camwhore la...BUT! taking pictures wif frens is DAMN fun! simple dinner, but had a freaking nice time...den tues- SCHOOL! i tink it was tuesday la...jia hao introduced this new game...cos i've been bringing poker cards to school...although i dun gamble...see the IRONY? LOL! kinda fun leh! den derek damn wols...lolol...den wednesday wad happen ah? hmm...oh oh...infocomm...hero sieged...kinda waste of time la...sian diao...but nxt infocomm session will be fun i guess^^ MUAHAHAHA! after infocomm met john for dinner den go his hse to watch bleach and put l4d...lolol...den thurs is....erm...oh yea was ytd hor...chem star...ended damn late...damn sian...den met wif the TARDS for dinner again...suan sheng when he wasn't there...WAHAHHAHAHA! stupid fencer...den today...gt the stupid GPP thing...damn sian oso...den met wif the TARDS for dinner/pool and there was a surprise today...HAHAHHAHAHHA! and JEFF WON BENNY! haha loser~ lolol...den reach home at around 11.20...damn late la...go out until forgot the time...lol...anyway...here are a few pictures to end this post...TPJC!

daniel mia for damn long la...finally got to see him on monday...lolol...ACT CUTE PIC! LOL! everyone noes who we dedicated this picture to^^TEANNA AND YVONNE!our wristbands! MUAHAHA!CLASS CHAIRMAN AND VICE-CHAIRMAN!!!SZE DASH MING!we will be the next 3 amigos on American Idol...LOLOL!Advertisement for Paramore: Read between the lines?
CRUSHX3!YEAH 4D!!!

2009-05-11T23:17:00.002+08:00

YEAHHHH! FEELING SUPER HIGH NOW! OW! SO LONG NVR SO HIGH LE! TOOK MANY MANY PICTURES TODAY! TODAY'S KFC EXCEPTIONALLY NICE! I DUNNO WHY! HAD SO MUCH FUN LA!

OK SHALL UPDATE WIF PICTURES TOMORROW OR THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW! I DUNNO! BUT TODAY 4D KFC OUTING - SUCCESS!!!

2009-05-10T11:20:00.002+08:00

lolol...so long since i last posted...wahahaha~ there's quite a number of holidays recently...that time gt good friday, den after that monday and tues i oso nvr go sch cos gt flu, den monday gonna be another holiday...yes la! haha...PI jus ended and now its GPP...and i tink GPP is a hell lot worse...haiz...see how things goes la...school these few days has also been quite boring...nth rili interesting happening everyday...

anyway i got a new bag ytd! WOOOO! quite similar to teng's but ah my one is black colour one...much more nicer =D but$40 bucks la...abit ex...finally no more sling bag...the sling is rili killing me...everyday bring so much things to sch make my shoulder wanna die...got a new thumbdrive ytd oso...cos i lost my previous one=.=

sian la...have been failing my tests oso...guess i really need to chiong studies during holiday liao...if not ah...cfm cannot survive jc le...i'm soo glad that there's only 3 more weeks left to holiday WOOHOO!

and recently for some i dunno what reason, i like backstreet boys AGAIN! wth la...i go listen to their old songs and its like FREAKING NICE! yeahhh...more songs for blasting le...but not easy to sing la...but its still very nice!!!

hmm...will update when there are more interesting stuff happening...till then, sayonara~

2009-04-25T21:26:00.002+08:00

OW! HI ALL!!! so long nvr update le...its not i dun wan update is cannot update...JC IS KILLING ME! ahhhhh! lag behind a little bit will become alot de...damn sian...anyway there are timed assignments aka tests on the whole of nxt week...monday alone has 2...den PEE EYE! deadline wednesday...blooooody...tomorrow cannot rili slack again le...weekends = no weekends...freak...damn sian la...I WAN HOLIDAYS! but oso cant slack...ltr timed assignments screw up den parents meeting session gonna gg again...HAIZ!

anyway...this week got to noe some rili rili nice songs, like If today was your last day by Nickelback, dunno how i chanced upon tt song oso, den there's top of the world by aar, den i still freaking like another heart calls by aar, it just keeps ringing in my head...DAMN NICE! omgosh...and there's this nice nice video...

LOVE STORY (Taylor Swift) meets VIVA LA VIDA (Coldplay) - Piano/Cello - by Jon Schmidt

ENJOY!!!

2009-04-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

Nickelback - Gotta be Somebody

ADDICTED
TO
AOL
SESSIONS
!!!

2009-04-17T23:29:00.003+08:00

damnnn tired la...wanna die le...having a bit headache...i tink i rili need to sleep...goodnight people~

2009-04-16T23:42:00.001+08:00

The All-American Rejects - It Ends Tonight Sessions

OMGoshWTFBBQ!
THIS IS FREAKING
IMBA!

BOYS LIKE GIRLS!!!

2009-04-16T21:58:00.002+08:00

Thunder

Let Go

The Great Escape

uploaded the videos on youtube....GO SEE!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=70753&id=564516444&l=4911fc2b21

2009-04-15T00:00:00.001+08:00

15TH APRIL!
WING'S BDAY! WING
SEE I COPY HER BLOGGING STYLE! IS
ANYWAY RETARDED!
HAPPY BDAY WING!!! =D

2009-04-13T21:08:00.000+08:00

THIS
IS
A
FREAKING
NICE
SONG
!
OMGosh
!

2009-04-11T14:17:00.003+08:00

my phone sux la...jus now someone use house phone and call me at around 11plus or 12 plus...forgot le...den stupid phone, cannot answer the call...den jus auto-restart...freak la...so whoever tt person is... sry sry...and pls tell me hu r u...

i very scared is smth urgent sia...

2009-04-11T12:46:00.002+08:00

YAY! watched fast & furious 4 with the TARDS ytd...AWESOME movie la...worth the 10 bucks...seriously...the start of the show already nice liao...so cool la...they hijack the oil tanker...but ytd arh...rili damn impromptu la...freak...movie 6 plus...we decided to watch the movie at 2plus like tt...lol...den 3 meet up liao...weird lor...lol...but well...attendance was still good...there were like 8 of us...lol...and jus when the movie ended...zhao wei and wing were like spamming me leh...EH BRIAN EH BRIAN! cos one of the lead was called brian o'conner...lol...

there are a lot of movies nowadays which i wanna watch la...handsome suit, den still gt transformers...suddenly cant rmbr...anyone gt ALOT la...i'm gonna be so damn broke...omgosh...

2009-04-10T09:53:00.003+08:00

HI PPL! i jus woke up...and i can smell some garlic bread =D anyway...slept damn late ytd...i mean today...den now still feeling abit tired...recently had been making some weird dreams...i dunno hw i should these dreams but yup...first time dreaming bout these stuff...and quite often somemore...like 3 times in a week le...coincidence? jinx? or isit for real? hmm...